How to Set NY Goals that Stick

podcast Jan 08, 2021

In today's podcast episode, I talk about how to set New Year's goals that stick.

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[00:00:00] Welcome back. My friend, mama girl, you made it. You made it through 2020. Congratulations to you. Super excited over here that we are finally into the new year. What a year? Last year was, huh? What a big pile of poopy diapers. But we got through it. It's over, it's done, it's in the past. You know, nothing's really going to change much with the rules and regulations that are going on, but despite it's still a new year and in today's episode, I want to talk about new year's resolutions and setting new year’s goals that actually stick.

[00:00:40] So let's get to it. All right. So it's the new year. And like many, you probably have already thought about what your new year's resolutions are going to be. And I want to teach you something that approaches it a little differently than normal because what I found is that most women make these new year's resolutions that are very vague.

[00:00:59] Like they say something like, I want to lose weight. I want to eat healthier. I want to become fit. And then by the middle of February, they are back to their normal ways of eating and their normal ways of not working out and all the things and that new year's resolution just goes out the window. And there's a reason why this happens.

[00:01:19] And I want to talk about why that happens and also want to give you a guideline of how I started doing new year’s goals. Instead of setting resolutions, I set habit goals, and I want to take you through that process. And I want to share with you how you can set your goals for the new year that you can actually stick with.

[00:01:42] And that won't just fall apart by the middle of February. All right. So before we even get into this. I want to talk about why it is that so many women fail to actually stick with their new year's resolutions. And that's because most of the time we're setting goals that are too vague. So when we say something like, I want to lose weight, or I want to get fit, or I want to eat better or work out more, that's really not telling us much.

[00:02:12] Right. Like, so what does that mean to you? That doesn't really mean anything because you're not really setting yourself up for specific habit changes because it really all comes down to habits. Right? Everything that we do, I think 80% of what we do is a habit and we do it out of repeat because we've done it so much.

[00:02:32] That's how our brain works. So when we're just saying, I want to eat healthier, or I want to become fit or work out more, that doesn't really prompt our brain to do anything. Okay. And this is something that I teach inside my program, BSB tribe. I teach my members to set habit goals instead of generic cliche, new year's resolutions, or hopes as it is.

[00:02:55] So before we even get to this, what I like to start with and what I actually just did today was go over the previous year. And review it. And most people don't do this. I actually did a poll on my Instagram page, by the way, if you're not following me, go follow me and be fed Explorer. And I asked, I was doing my 2020 review and I asked my audience, do you do yearly reviews?

[00:03:22] And most of them said, no, which kind of breaks my heart because you can find out a lot by doing a yearly review. And I'll explain to you how to do this, and you can do this, even if you're listening to this well into the new year. So we first want to start off with a yearly review and then based on that, we want to really sit down and write out what we want for our following year.

[00:03:43] And then we want to break it down. So we're really kind of getting to the core. We're starting. With the biggest ultimate goals and desires that we have. And then we're going to break it down into tiny habit goals, which are achievable and easier to do. So the first thing that I want you to do, and if you're able to do it now, you can, that's great.

[00:04:03] Just, you need a piece of paper and something to write with. If not, you can come back to this episode, but I really want you to do this because it's really going to be a game-changer for you. If you do this, I promise you will reach your goals. This year is going to be so much easier and more fun. Effective than in your past years.

[00:04:20] So the first thing I do is I review my previous year. Right. So what that means is you're just going to write out how the year went now. Unfortunately, this past year, Was a bag of poopy diapers and it's probably not going to go so well for you, probably going to have a lot of negative things and that's okay.

[00:04:40] I still want you to write down, you're going to make a couple of columns. You're going to write down what went well in 2020, and don't say nothing. All right, because there's always something there's always little blessings. In disguise, if you look for them and if you think about it, and when I did my list, I had at least 10 things that went really well for me.

[00:05:00] Okay. Then I want you to make a column of things that sucked in 2020, and that one might be a little longer, I think my column had like 15 things and that's okay. Right. I mean, you don't want to be going on for pages and pages. Just the main things that come to your mind. All right. And then once you do that, you're going to make a different column on a different sheet of paper with two sections.

[00:05:24] One is going to be things to stop doing in 2021. And then you're going to make another one of things to start doing in 2021. Okay. And then you're going to see, you're going to look at that. And based on that, you're going to start really seeing what keeps on coming up for you. What is it that, you know, you need to stop doing, and what is it that, you know, you need to start doing.

[00:05:51] And from there, I want you to analyze those columns and I want you to pick out three main goals for the new year, only three. Why? Because that's really all our brains can handle. We don't want to do more than three. Okay. And from those three, then you're going to break it down into little habit goals that you can do to achieve those three.

[00:06:13] Now I do recommend that those three be from different categories. So for instance, uh, my categories would be like, you know, personal business and family. So personal could be, you know, my health, one of my big goals for 2021 is to heal my body because I have been struggling for a few years now with hormones and gut and just all the things with stress.

[00:06:39] And I finally want to heal my body. Stop focusing so much on weight loss. Because the weight loss will come once I've healed my body. This is what I teach inside my membership. And I know this to be true, but when we're so consumed with weight loss, we ignore and lose focus on the most important part, which is healing.

[00:06:58] So that to me is my personal goal. My business goal is I really want to grow BSB tribe. I really want to reach more women, right? The women that are in my program absolutely love it. They get great results. I need to just reach more women, right. I need to help. I want to help more women. So I want to find ways to do that.

[00:07:16] And then, you know, family, I really want this to be the year that I really spend more time with my family and my kids and learn how to manage my time better. So I'm not constantly in work mode, but I said boundaries. I absolutely had zero boundaries in 2020. Okay. So that for me is like my top three goals.

[00:07:36] Now those are very big goals and I wouldn't just say, okay, those are my goals. Let's go do it because what does that mean? Let's go do it. If your brain doesn't know what that means. And that's also a big change for your brain if you absolutely have no. Previous experience of working out at all. And then you all of a sudden have this goal of I'm going to work out, you know, I'm going to buy this Beachbody program and I'm going to do insanity six times a week for 50 minutes, sister.

[00:08:04] That's not going to last very long. You might last a week or two, but eventually you're not going to be able to keep up with that. Why? Because that is way too big of a change for your brain. Our brain doesn't like change, right? It's a protective survival mechanism to keep us safe, to do the same things that we've always done.

[00:08:21] So if you start with such a big goal like that, from going to no working out to doing insanity, your Brain's going to fight you on it, there was going to get those thoughts. Oh, we shouldn't do this. Oh, I'm so sore. Oh, this is so hard. Right. And it's always going to be that battle. You're going to have to use willpower.

[00:08:38] Right. And I hate willpower because it's so unreliable and it's depleting. So instead, what you want to do is you want to go to what I call the low hanging fruit. This is what I teach my clients all the time. What is the easiest simplest thing you can do? You can start today that isn't going to be. Such a big drastic change for you, and it's going to be easy for you to do, but it will help you get momentum.

[00:09:03] And once you get that momentum, you're going to build confidence with yourself. Your brain's going to start getting used to that, and then you're going to be able to do more. And I'm going to give you some examples of that. All right. So let's talk about the main goals that people have when it comes to new years, especially women.

[00:09:18] So. Let's say your goal is probably if you're listening to this podcast, you're probably interested in weight loss and getting fit and all the things. So if your goal is I want to lose weight and I want to get fit. All right. So instead of saying that, because a lot of women come to me and they say that and I'm like, okay, what does that mean to you?

[00:09:35] Right. So you want to get really specific about what that means? You know, we'll lose 10 pounds. I will lose 20 pounds. I just want to fit into my clothes. Uh, whatever that is for you, you know, I want to lean out. I just want to be healthy. I just want to get active, whatever that means to you. So you take fat goals, whatever that is.

[00:09:53] So let's say your goal is to lose 10 pounds. Then you think about what are little things, little habit goals that you can start doing to do that. So you have to see where you are right now? Right. So meet yourself where you're at. Don't make it so difficult for yourself. So for example, if you have a goal to lose 10 pounds this year, think about what you are doing now and what you can do.

[00:10:19] Change a couple of things. So it's not such a big of a change, but it actually will matter in the long-term if you continue those small changes. So let's talk about that. If you are wanting to lose 10 pounds and you are coming from a standard American diet, meaning that your diet is just like everything.

[00:10:39] You know, you eat all the fast food. You eat out, you eat gluten sugar, carbs, processed, carbs, all the things. So maybe for you, you wouldn't set a goal to go a hundred percent strict keto because again, that's way too big of a change for your brain. Your brain is going to freak out, argue with you. You're going to have this conversation in your mind.

[00:11:01] Why it's so hard, why can't you stick to it? Why don't you have willpower and motivation? The thing's not going to last very long. Okay. And said, I think about, okay. So if I'm coming from a standard American diet, one thing that I could change is let's say that I eat fast food five times a week for lunch while I'm working.

[00:11:21] What a small, tiny habit goal could be is to start replacing two of those fast-food meals with a meal that I meal prep at home. Right. So that would be a tiny habit goal that I would write down under the category of, I want to lose 10 pounds. So I would do that for a couple of weeks. And then once I got used to that, it'd be like, Hmm, I could probably bump it up to two more days.

[00:11:43] Right. If I'm already making meals for two days, why not add two more days? And then eventually that gets easy and you can bump it up to now completely eliminating fast food for lunch and packing your own food. Once you got that done and that's easy, then you move on to another thing. Okay. Let's talk about fitness, right?

[00:12:02] I want to work out instead of. Starting a beach body and sanity program. I love and sanity. It's awesome. But I will tell you it's very long. You have to be dedicated to it and you have to already be pretty fit to be able to do it all the way. So instead of saying, I'm going to do sanity six times a week.

[00:12:19] How about. I am going to find 10 minutes a day to walk. That's it. Right? It sounds so easy. Maybe I start with two days a week or three days a week, and then I go, okay, where can I make it work? When it comes to fitness, this is something I teach my clients all the time. We're in the fitness phase of the course right now, and I teach them.

[00:12:39] It's not on the schedule. If it's not a priority, it's not gonna happen. It's not going to get done. Right. So I hear all the time I'm saying I just don't have time for fitness. And I was like, no, it's not that you don't have time for fitness. It's just not a priority for you right now because other things are priorities.

[00:12:55] Eating is a priority. Scrolling social media seems to be a priority going out, shopping all the things. Those are priorities in your life. Right. So if this was a priority, you've made it fit into your schedule. And I know that's a hard pill to swallow for some of you, but it's the truth we made time for.

[00:13:15] What's important to us and what we really want. So, if you really want to implement fitness in your life in 2021, you have to make it a priority means you have to make time, not find the time, never going to find the time. You gotta make time. What's the best way to make time tell you right now, wake up earlier?

[00:13:31] That's it really easy. All right. You don't have enough time and you're complaining about that. You need to make time. Waking up earlier is the only way you can make time. So you wake up 20 minutes earlier, 10 minutes earlier, whatever that is. A couple of times a week, you get used to it instead of saying, okay, I'm going to get up at 5:00 AM every day and work out.

[00:13:50] Good luck. I tried that I was good for like 60 days and then it just flopped. Right? Cause it was too much of a change for my brain. I was going from not waking up at all and just waking up normally when my kids would come in, right. Maybe seven or whatever, to all of a sudden getting up at 5:00 AM. And yeah, I stuck to it for a few months, but eventually fell out.

[00:14:09] Why? Because it is way too much of a drastic change at once for my brain. So for next year, one of my big goals is to establish a morning routine but to actually do it in a way that makes sense and is reasonable and that I can sneak up on my brain. This is what I call it inside the membership. Like how can we sneak up on your brain?

[00:14:27] How can we start doing little habits? Continue them. And so our brain doesn't notice what's happening. It's just like, okay, this is a little different, but it's not too crazy. We'll roll with it. And then once we get used to it, we just increase and increase and increase. And before you know it, you've actually gotten to your main goal and your brain didn't even see it coming.

[00:14:46] We have to do that because our brains are smart. They just want to keep things the way they are. They want to keep things safe. They want to keep things the same. Right. And we don't want to stay the same. Right. We're always wanting to grow and improve. So that is what, as far as reaching your goals, that is the best way to approach it.

[00:15:04] If you want them to actually stick and you want to actually for them to happen, whatever your goals are if you want to achieve them, you have to start with, you kind of have to break it down into, okay. I have this big goal. And then little elements from that kind of like, you know, you have to make your own little chart, go ahead and make a little chart for yourself and have this big goal on the top.

[00:15:24] And then these like branches that come out like, okay, what do I have to do in order to reach that goal? What do I have to do to, in order to lose 10 pounds, I have to, you know, change my eating? I have to. As are working out and I have to, you know, start a morning routine or whatever that is for you. And then from there branch, okay, what do I have to do?

[00:15:43] What does changing my eating look like? I have to stop eating fast food. You know, I might have to reduce my sugar intake or my soda intake. I might have to incorporate more vegetables and less snacking, whatever. So they, you kind of work your way down until you get to the. Minimum viable tasks and like habits that you can do that are super easy to implement.

[00:16:03] Like, yeah, I can do that. Sure. I can find 10 minutes, two times a day to walk. Right? Sure. I could pack my lunch two days a week for now and then grow with it. So that is a thing that I want you to do because what I find that women do is that. All of a sudden, it's the new year, which means nothing. It's so arbitrary, right?

[00:16:23] It's just another day really. But all of a sudden, we think just because it's the new year that we're going to have all this motivation that we're going to have all this discipline, that we're no longer going to have all of our old habits. And that's just not how it works as now our brain works. Our brain doesn't care that it's January 1st.

[00:16:43] It's still going to repeat the same things you've been doing. If you don't change, nothing's going to change. Right? So it's not all of a sudden, and yeah, you might have motivation a little bit more motivation because it's the new year and last year was super crappy and you're ready to go, but that's not going to last if you have these big goals that are so vague and they're not specific and you don't have a strategy with it.

[00:17:07] Right. You have to have a strategy. I say this all the time. Like, I think it's so ironic that people think that when it comes to weight loss, that it is just like so easy to figure out on their own and that they, they just like, know all the things and they can just go and do it. And I like to compare it to a car and a mechanic.

[00:17:24] So. When your car breaks down, do you just go like, Oh my gosh. Okay. Well, my car broke. I'll try to fix it. Let me like YouTube. This, let me Google it. Let me see if I can fix it myself. Maybe some people out there actually do that. Maybe someone that actually has some knowledge about cars or repaired cars in the past, but normal people, like I would never do that because I don't know what the heck I'm doing.

[00:17:47] Right. I take it to a mechanic. I take it to a professional, but when it comes to weight loss, Most women don't know what the heck they're doing. They don't know anything about nutrition or fitness or no education, no knowledge, and how the body works. They just hear of some diet. They hear of some friend doing something and they're just like, I'm just going to do it.

[00:18:05] I'm just going to wing it. I'll see how it works. No. Why would you do that to your body? Right? Your most precious thing. Your health, why would you just wing it? Like you have to be strategic. You have to be smart about it. You have to get professional help if you really want to achieve your goals and you don't want to harm your body because I see a lot of women messing up their metabolism, making their health markers worse, causing more inflammation in their body because they're trying a diet that they know nothing about.

[00:18:35] And they're just winging it, or they're going to Facebook groups and asking complete random strangers on Facebook how to do something. Please don't do that. My friend, right. Seek out, help seek out help from people that are actually educated and knowledgeable and know what they're talking about and actually have been through what you're dealing through.

[00:18:54] And I've gone through it rather than some stranger on the internet. And that's just like my little rant because I see that and it frustrates me so much that we're afraid to invest in ourselves. And we put that as the last thing that we'll invest in and everyone's just like, no, I don't want to join the new program.

[00:19:10] I don't want to buy anything. I just want it all free. I'll just get it free. And it's like, okay, good luck with that. Because again, where are you getting your information? Where is that information coming from a reputable source or social media and some random person, and then it's trial and error, and then you can cause more health issues.

[00:19:28] Oh my gosh. I can go on and on and on about that rant, but I'm just going to stop right there. Because that has nothing to do with new year's goals. Really. I mean, it does, but it doesn't. So let's wrap this up. All right. You're thinking about your goals right now, are you, might've already thought about them and you have them in mind of what you want to accomplish this year.

[00:19:48] And I really, really recommend that you sit down and make this chart of breaking it down into more specific habit goals that you can start doing that are easy for you that are low hanging fruit items that you can build on. And the one thing that I will say is that you're gonna need to have some patients here because this is going to take time.

[00:20:13] I know most of us women, we want results really fast. We want the quick fix. We want to lose 10 pounds in a week, but you know, we should know by now that that's not sustainable, that's not going to keep the weight off. And that's just not how our body works. So if we're in this for the long run, if we really want to finally have a plan that's sustainable, maintainable and enjoyable, we have to think about little changes that we can start adapting and then progress on.

[00:20:43] And this is exactly everything that I teach inside my program, BSB tribe. So if you don't know what BSB tribe is, it is my weight loss program. Which is designed to help women lose weight, lose the weight they want without gaining it back. And the way that we do that is that we look at all the things. So I lay to compare it to an iceberg.

[00:21:02] Right. So you see only the tip of the iceberg and you don't see the underneath. And when it comes to weight loss, I feel like the tip of the iceberg is like, okay, so you've gained weight or you have weight to lose. And then you focus on nutrition and you focus on fitness. But what BSB tribe does and why BSB tribe is different from most programs is we look at the bow, like the actual iceberg itself, the thing that derails Titanic, right?

[00:21:28] Which is all the things that are underlying issues that are preventing us from reaching our health and fitness goals. And those are things like hormones, right? So that could be anything from PCOM, estrogen, dominance. Cortisol, um, issues with thyroid, all those things. Then we look at the gut, right?

[00:21:48] Dysbiosis, inflammation, leaky, gut IBS, all of those things, having a microbiome that promotes obesity instead of weight loss that all has to do with the gut. Then we look at the brain, right? The biggest obstacle, I think for us women is the brain stuff, the mindset stuff. So that's the emotional eating the self-sabotage, the binge eating.

[00:22:09] All those automatic habits and thoughts that we do stress eating all of that. And then of course there's just stress in general, right? Stress, not only with the cortisol side but the emotional and stress eating side and how we deal with the stress side. Right. And there are all those pieces. And then there's lifestyle maintenance.

[00:22:28] Like what do we do when we lose weight? How do we keep it off? How do we travel? How do we go out to eat? How do we handle situations, events, parties, stuff like that? That's all under the iceberg. And Those are the things that most weight loss programs don't talk about and don't address. And that is exactly what BSB tribe does.

[00:22:47] So if you are interested in something like a holistic approach to weight loss, I highly recommend you get on the waitlist. We are currently closed we will be opening up soon, so you can go to BSB and join the waitlist there. And then I'll also leave a link in the description here in the show notes.

[00:23:03] So for the new year, My challenge to you is to set three small habit goals that are going to be in line with your three big goals. And then I want you to find me on Instagram at BSB tribe and DM me and let me know what those are. I'd love to hear them.

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